Dear President Mbeki

Stealing my style from Gavin Foster (who called me "a humble person with much to be humble about." Which is quite true of course.):



ATT: President Thabo Mbeki

Dear President Mbeki

As a South African citizen and enthusiastic reader of ANC Today, I just want to let you know how much I miss your weekly letter. Perhaps its for the best as it must have taken up a truly disproportionate amount of your time. But nonetheless, its a real loss.

Today I found myself lingering over a volume of Xhosa poetry at Exclusive Books. Probably something I never would have looked twice at before reading your "We are children of a rich heritage."**

Even though I sometimes disagreed with what you were saying, I loved being able to see what you felt was important enough to write about. I loved the insights your letters offered into current events and other topics relevant to our nation. I loved to hear you respond in your own words and from your own conviction to various topical issues in South Africa. I loved that there were so many things you wanted to write about, to tell people about. I loved having my world expanded by topics or ideas I hadn't thought much about before, or from angles I hadn't considered them from.

I first subscribed to ANC Today becasue I kept seeing it referred to in Mail and Guardian stories and I thought I might as well go to the source. I never regretted signing up and every Friday I looked forward to some interesting reading in my inbox.

It looks like things have changed for ANC Today. I so enjoyed your letters and the additional pieces by other people. I hope the new ANC Today manages to continue in the same spirit you led it with.

And if I can make one request, as your audience, I ask that you carry on writing! Start a blog, write a book, write a column somewhere. But I hope that your stepping down from the President's letter in ANC Today isn't the end of us seeing you in print.

Thank you.

Regards,
Laura



** Incidentally, that 28 September 2007 volume of ANC Today also included a piece entitled "Economic growth needs affordable and sustainable energy." FYI to people who thought the governement weren't thinking about these issues till January this year.

What I learned in the USA

I was in the USA for October and November last year for PhD work, in a small town called Urbana/Champaign. Well actually its two towns, Urbana and Champaign. Once they were separate but they are completely merged now. I was at the University of Illinois (UIUC) there. So half of the university is in Urbana and half is in Champaign. Not that they are different campusses, there is just a demarcation that this half is Urbana, the other half is Champaign.

But I digress, this post is about "What I learned in the USA"

1. International air travel is not as scary as I thought. Also, a 16 hour flight is not unlike a 16 hour bus trip.

2. I identify with African people way way more than US people. Every time I met an African person - from anywhere in Africa - I felt like I'd just met a homie.

3. Wow those American folks have amazing team spirit, some days every second or third person I saw on campus would be wearing UIUC team spirit clothing.

4. Its weird meeting South African people who have emigrated (not the Kemball's, in case you ever read this! Other people I met). There are just so many reasons people have left and I think people carry baggage from their time in SA and their leaving.
I met one South African couple who emigrated many years ago now and it was just too awkward, I think they actually didn't want to meet other South Africans.

5. You know what democracy looks like? It looks like televised *incredibly boring* city council meetings where everyone and their dog has time to have their say about the new rent laws or the inner city parking system or their plumbing issues. It also looks like plackards on people's front lawns that say "Impeach" or "Stop the war."

6. "Having an accent" is novel for about a week, when people comment on how cute your accent is... then it just becomes irritating. Then it just becomes burdensome. "Can I please have a glass of water?" "Water." "W-a-t-e-r." "WATER!" "WAADER" "oooh ok..."

7. The local church is the hope of the world.

8. American people are great. American's are taking alot of flack from the world at the moment, but I think people should just examine their attitudes for a moment. If someone spoke about black people / Indian people / Jewish people / etc. the way people often speak about American's, people would be horrified. American people are like people anywhere, some good some bad. I met some very friendly, funny, fun, humble people. And really not as insular or arrogant as people sometimes expect they are...

The flag

I've had this blog post sitting in my mind for weeks not, but I'm so nervous writing it. Because I want to get it right, I want to express it well. So here goes...

Does anyone remember the Song of the Flag? We used to sing it at school some times. I much preferred it to the old national anthem, it was alot more jivey. I googled for it and found it, but that is another blog post for another day. Today I want to write about the flag that song was about, the old South African flag.




I could tell you a bit about the history of the flag, but if you're reading this you all have google and wikipedia available to you, so I won't bother. What I think is most interesting for us now is what the old South African flag represents.

You still see the old flag flown every now and then. Sometimes at rugby matches, you might see a couple dotted around the crowd. In an article in the Daily Dispatch on December 27, Akona Ndungane, a springbok rugby player, called for them to be banned at matches. "We need to look at the future." he said "I definately think those flags should be banned. It would be a step forward."

I think many people would agree with that. Because that old flag is an offensive symbol really. Unless you are waving it in complete ignorance, which I doubt many are, it's making quite a blatant statement. A statement that you reject the new South Africa and that you are holding on to the old. That you look back to the days where (white) South African's could proudly wave that old flag, that things were better then.

Which is offensive. The vast vast majority of our country's citizens weren't even considered citizens under the regime represented by that flag. And that's what people are approving of, when they fly the old flag. That's very offensive.

But I was considering the flag a while back and it occurred to me that maybe our reaction to it needent be outrage or offense. It was an offense because it represented oppression, violence, taking away people's humanity. But when we look at it today, we see it representing a regime that lost. We see it powerless. For people who yearn for the old South Africa, they can fly flags and sing songs to their hearts content, but it will never return.

Ironically, a symbol that represented so much evil and so much destruction now represents a pitiful longing of a very tiny fraction of South African's to return to a past which perhaps they saw as glorious, although it wasn't. A pitiful useless longing for a past that never even existed. A symbol of power and brutality that is now a pitiful symbol of defeat.

Not to say the new South Africa is perfect, but its definitely not going back to the old. And to people who still wish for for the old, my heart if filled with sadness for them, and pity. Maybe some anger, from time to time, but mostly just pity. And the hope that their eyes will be opened to see the emptiness of the old, and the beauty of the new.

Eskom Survival Tips #1

Todays tip: Using your computer UPS to power other things

Look at the back of your UPS - there should be a few similar plugs, one is connected to your computer, maybe another is connected to your monitor. The plugs are kettle plugs - like the ones you plug into your kettle, if your kettle has a detachable plug. The UPS plugs are the female side. There may be one or two free plugs, in which case you are in business! One of the plugs might be a surge protector, in which case you could maybe move your monitor onto that if you are not actually intending to work on your computer during a power out.

Ok, so now what we want is to hook that extra UPS female kettle plug to a form you can actually attach things to. In my case, I want to run an external harddrive off it. But you could boil a kettle, I suppose, or a run a radio or whatever. I'm not sure how long the power will last, it will depend on how much there is loading your UPS. It will need some experimentation to find out. And it will depend on the specs of your UPS too, of course.

Ok, so we want that female kettle plug hooked up to give power to say a normal 2-prong or 3-prong multi-plug.
So what you do is:

Step 1: Go to a computer store and buy a male kettle plug to female kettle plug cable. I think they are usually used for monitors. The people at the store should know what you are talking about. Mine cost R20, pretty inexpensive.

Step 2: Take some sort of appropriate cutting instrument (pliers are first prize) and cut off the female plug. Cut close to the plug so you keep as much cable as possible. Just in case you don't know, the female side has 3 holes, the male side has the 3 metal connectors that fit into the three holes. Strip the end of the white insulating stuff off, and strip the ends of the 3 coloured wired inside. Just FYI, the blue wire is neutral, brown is live and green/yellow is earth. I don't know why, it wound have made more sense to me to make earth brown, but anyway.

Step 3: Buy an 3-prong plug: the female side, where we will ultimately plug our kettle, harddrive, multi-plug, whatever. I know you can get them with just the plug, but I couldn't find one at checkers, so I had to buy and extension cable. R50 ouch a bit more than I had hoped to pay, but alright. Oh and buy some insulating tape too, its only about R5.

Step 4: If you bought an extension cable like me, cut off the male plug end and strip is, just like you did to the kettle cable in Step 2.

Step 5: Connect the two cables - blue to blue, brown to brown, yellow/green to yellow/green. I connected them by twisting the copper ends together then covering it solidly with insulating tape. Cover well because we don't want the current carrying insides touching each other! If you'd managed to buy just the plug section in Step 3 you could attach stripped wires from the kettle plug cable directly to the 3-prong plug with a screwdriver. That would have been a neater option and more satisfying all round. But hey, you make do with what you have.

And you are done! Plug the male kettle plug end into your UPS and plug whatever you want into the other 3-prong end. I attached a multi-plug to the 3-prong and then attached my two external hard-drives to 2-prong inputs on the multi-plug.

Finally, turn off the power. Hey presto, your UPS is still keeping your external hard-drives (or whatever) running. Hurrah!

Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God

Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God

John Donne


Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurped town, to another due,

Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

but is captived, and proves weak or untrue.

yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

But am betrothed unto your enemy.

Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor even chaste, except you ravish me.

Bravo

The South African Minister of Defence, Mosiuoa Lekota, was arrested for speeding a couple of days ago. He was going at the whopping speed of about 180 km/hr. That doesn't happen by accident.

Oh woe is us, another tale of the sad state of South African leadership? Actually, I see something entirely different here, something very encouraging actually.

Speeding is bad, 180 km/hr is just entirely unacceptable. And by a Minister of our government, who should be setting an example, who should be beyond reproach, thats even worse. But I think the outcome of the whole incident is just a breath of fresh air.

He complied with the police when he was arrested, he went to court, admitted his guilt, and was sentenced. And it looks like he was really ashamed of himself, honestly remorseful. I suppose that could have just been the angle he was taking to get off lightly, but it seems legitimate from his comments.

Wow, what a breath of fresh air. No bravado, claims of innocence, egging on supporters, no shadiness, no arrogance or attitude of being above the law. What a pleasure. We can't just overlook his offense. But honesty, remorse, humility, these are qualities I can admire. And I think thats a hopeful thing to see in a South African leader.

On the other hand

While I was having dinner with some people yesterday I was digging around in my bag to look for something, when a friend noticed the book I'm reading - Fred Khumalo's "Touch my blood." I went to look for his latest novel at the library, but they didn't have it. The librarian so enthusiastically offered me his biography as compensation that I felt I had to enthusiastically receive it. I'm enjoying it, by the way, I recommend it. The only thing that I haven't enjoyed is the sexual details. Not great at all. It was the same with Ndumiso Ngcobo's book. Eish, the marmite chapter. Perhaps just skip that chapter, if you are considering reading the book.

Anyway, I digress badly. The point is, my friend saw the Khumalo book and immediately said she had read his "Yo Niggaz" column, someone had given her a printed copy. And she objected *most* strongly to his opinion on the whole ebonics issue. Its an identity thing... Why is it that people identify themselves with this use of language, she asks... these sorts of things need proper research, she says. And more, with bigger words. She is a English Masters student so I have to bow to her knowledge of such things.

So I suppose like so many like race, class, culture issues, there is more to it than the appearance of things.

Eish its bebbing

Reading Fred Khumalo's blog post Yo, niggaz, whaz happenin’ to da English? reminded me of an incident from when I was in the USA a month or so back. I was waiting at the bus stop on the University of Illinois campus one evening, on my way home. There was another guy waiting at the bus stop, a youngish black guy, probably a student. I was standing quite close to the bench he was sitting on and he greeted me. Or maybe I greeted him, I don't remember. I always feel its good to greet people.

Anyway, he then said something completely unintelligible to me, a couple of sentences. I tried to muddle them out in my mind but eventually gave up. "Pardon me?" Another, longer, string of phrases I couldn't make head or tail of. Asking people to repeat themselves too many times is embarrassing, but I really didn't understand anything he said. "Sorry I didn't understand you..." Another few mystifying sentences. I think I may have recognised the word "mother." Maybe, maybe, the word "red." But he was wearing a red track suit top, and I was pulling at straws, so maybe there was no red.

I smiled and gave up. There was clearly no hope.

I don't know. Part of me wants to sigh and say: "What is happening to young people nowadays?" Another part of me knows that that would probably be hypocritical. I'm really not averse to slang at all. I'm sure hanging out with my friends would be a mystifying experience for many other people. Bebbing and duuring and "Sisi, sisi I just want to tell you that you are very selfish," "We go" Indian slang from Minz, the classic Zimbabwean "item item" and so forth.

And I know that languages change all the time. In one epic argument with a flatmate of mine, I claimed that "conscientize" was not a word. I was quite wrong of course. It wasn't in the dictionary though. Who cares? Words are in the dictionary because people use them, people don't use them because they are in the dictionary. And who gets to choose the way language changes? Surely the people who use it?

But on the other hand, there is a place where we actually just need to ability to communicate with people, to express ourselves in a way other people understand and to express ourselves in a polite, respectful and professional way. "Yo 'sup dawg?" may be perfectly fine when addressing your mate, but not so much when you're addressing your mother. Or your boss. Or the lady behind the till at the post office.

Someone commented on Fred Khumalo's blog that this kind of poor English is a sad symptom of kids not reading. Its a revealing comment, I think, because it points to the fact that more often than not poor English isn't just the choice to buy into popular slang. Its a result of people just not being exposed to English spoken well. And even as I write that part of me thinks "Well isn't that unfair? Who is to say that the way I was brought up speaking English is good English?"

But objectively I think that a wide range of vocab and the ability to express yourself in language appropriate to many different social situations is important. Its a skill, like any other, that can be developed. And I'm very grateful that I grew up being sent to the dictionary to look up words for myself, and even for those awful Standard 5 vocab lists we had to learn.

It was there I learned that plump was really just a synonym for fat. I called my mom on that one - I was quite a *ahem* plump kid, and she always used to say I wasn't fat, I was plump. Yup, my 12 year old self empowered by vocabulary.

Vote Yes

Last week I was sitting in front of the TV, waiting to hear the result of the Polokwane vote: Zuma or Mbeki, the big question. Sitting there I was taken back to 1992, my eleven year old self anxiously sitting on the same mat in front of an older TV waiting for the results of the Vote Yes/Vote No referendum.

A quick history lesson to give some background for my reminiscing:
In about 1990 the then National Party led South African government was beginning to move away from apartheid. Political parties such as the ANC were unbanned, Nelson Mandela was released from prison and the government was in negotiations with the ANC. There was resistance to the reforms, so the then president F.W. de Klerk called for a referendum (for white South Africans) to show how much of the (white) population supported the reforms. The referendum was Vote Yes/Vote No for continuing the reforms. There were posters all over the street lights, I remember: "Vote yes!" "Vote no!"
More info from our friend wikipedia

I was just a kid, I didn't know anything about politics, anything about apartheid (beyond the fact that our maid's children weren't allowed to be in the same school as me). I don't remember my parents ever saying anything much about politics or race, so the issues of South Africa just had no place in my little eleven year old mind. There were terrorist drills at school: push the desks to the side of the room and hide under them. So the terrorists couldn't shoot us, I suppose. But I didn't link that to the political environment in South Africa, the fear of the white populace as things were changing. I couldn't. As I said, I was just a kid. More concerned with friends from school and my inability to pass times table tests (yes, its true).

Now my parents were also pretty liberal, so I didn't grow up with a lot of the racism that I expect many other South African kids did. So when one of the kids at school told me that if the result of the upcoming election was "no," the "black people were going to come kill us all," this was news to me. I was horrified. So I sat in front of that TV and watched the votes come in, distraught. In the wake of this revelation of my potential impending doom I had discussed the situation with some friends from school. It seems everyone else's family had planned for the worst - they spoke of plans to leave for various European countries, mostly. I have no recent foreign ancestry, so my eleven year old imagination envisioned my family being left to be slaughtered, while watching my friends fly off to European safety.

The results were coming in slowly, as they were counted in different areas. Eventually the stress of it all overcame me and I told my mother that if things turned out badly, so and so's family was going to Italy, so and so's family was leaving for Austria and so forth... but what about us mom, what will we do? Where will we go?

I was pretty upset and scared by that stage, but I've always remembered her answer and how it settled the issue for me. She said that South Africa is our home, and we were not going anywhere.

Which may sound like an entirely unsatisfactory answer. It didn't address the "kill us all" problem at all. But it somehow satisfied my eleven year old self. Perhaps it was my mothers confidence - if we were going to stay, it would have to be okay, somehow. There is no place to run to, because this is the only place that is ours, so it has to be okay.

South Africa is our home, and we were not going anywhere.

---

I started writing this blog post during the wait for the Polokwane results - now of course we know that Zuma is the new ANC president. There is alot of fear in South Africa about this at the moment. Probably alot of people considering their options: Italy, Austria, Australia, Canada...
And I confess that as I heard the results, for an instant I wished (for the first time) that I was eligible for an ancestral UK visa. But you know what, South Africa is my home, and I'm not going anywhere.

South Africa is doing better now than we have ever done. We are in our thirteenth year of being a democracy, only twenty or so years ago we were oppressing, brutalising, pretty much enslaving millions of people. Today I can watch bollywood movies with a friend who I would not have shared eating utensils with twenty or thirty years ago. We are living one of the great miracles of our time.

We're not perfect, by no means, we're broken nation. But we're being fixed. And we're going to have some ups and downs, no doubt. But, by the grace of God, lets stick around and do this thing.

What its all about

A conversation yesterday got me thinging about the things we want to achieve in life, the acclaim we wish for, and what its all about.

I went to the talk by the guy who draws xkcd the other day, and it was pretty funny. Lots and lots of geeky jokes. And he is *famous* - people queue up to have their photo taken with him. Maybe it would be good to be famous, maybe it would be satisfying to have people hang on my words, put up posters about me, be in awe of me. That would proably be real good (note my American slang!) for my ego. I wonder if I'd be content with that? Maybe. But really, this xkcd guy, he's just a random guy. He's quite smart and pretty funny and into geeky things which is cool. And he draws a comic thats sometimes very funny... so there is nothing in particular that I'd like to emulate in him personaly. Its just that feeling of a thousand, probably many thousands, or people, approving of you. Admiring you.

But then I got to thinking, why do I want people to admire me, and approve of me? Surely if I'm happy with myself, a thousand praises would be nice and all, but I wouldn't need them to prop me up? And how will I be happy with myself? Because I know that I myself am a delightful creation of the Lord, who sees me as I am and accepts me afffectionately, and also because by the grace of God I live a life that is pleasing to him, or at least increasingly pleasing to him, I hope!!

Then I was thinking about accomplishment. I am hereby old, and it feels like I've achieved nothing with my life. Well maybe this is a bit easier to define for me... what would I like to have done? I don't know... help stop AIDS, changed peoples lives, made some amazing physics discoveries that change the way we see the world, advanced technology, helped eradicate poverty, fix the education system in SA, fix Home Affaris in SA, do something about the transport situation in SA, write some children's books about recentish South African history, commission a cartoon series about recentish South African history, do something significant to stop crime, have a degree from MIT, Caltech :)
I'm not sure, it could be lots of things. And I wonder if it would be satisfying to know that the world was a hugely better place because of me. I'm sure it would. But the thing with that though, is that its a bit addictive. Doing good things for people, doing great impressive things, thats fantastic. Aim for the stars blah blah and all of that. Definately. Lets do it, lets change the world. But if we rely on that to feel ok about ourselves, it becomes a bit empty and desperate eventually. There is always more you can do, there is always alot that you can't do. We're little people and when we realise that, its pretty freeing.

Anyway, Nicole puts it beautifully:

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

Legacy, from Woven and Spun by Nicole Nordeman

Luthuli on Zimbabwe

No, not really. This is Albert Luthuli writing to encourage the "economic ostracism" of South Africa during apartheid. But his words reminded me of the quiet diplomacy that seems to be going on about Zimbabwe. Chief Albert Luthuli was ANC president from 1952 to 1967.

They seem to rely on a quiet word in a diplomat's ear. This is ineffective...

The present situation, if I may put it in a parable, seems to me something like this. My next door neighbour and I may like each other or we may not. At all events, we shall, if we are normal people, pay attention to the social conventions. We shall mind our own business unless invited to do otherwise. We shall not interfere with each other's wives or children or property. We shall avoid abusive language and greet each other when we meet.

But a day might conceivably come when this relationship breaks down. I might happen to glance across to his lands and see him savagely whipping a member of his household or attacking a defenseless child with a lethal weapon. I might learn that he has done his brother to death.

I could shrug and go on my way. I could say, “Well, after all, he's the head of that household, its no business of mine. I don't want him interfering here, so I'd better keep myself to myself.” Or I suppose I could go round to the door and leave a little note suggesting that it might be wise if he were to make a few changes in his behaviour, and then leave him to think it over.

I doubt if I would be morally justified in taking any course except doing my utmost to to prevent him doing further damage. My aim would not be to kill him or injure him. It would be to stop him. I should find myself impelled to do that, by lawful and recognised means, and preferably by means which do no personal hurt.

Let My People Go, Albert Luthuli

Youth Day

Today is Youth Day, a day public holiday. Today we remember the Soweto uprisings on June 16, 1976.

Back then, South Africa had what was called Bantu education, where education for black kids was supposed to address the "nature and requirements of the black people." To teach them to be servants and workers. To quote Dr Verwoerd, "Natives (blacks) must be taught from an early age that equality with Europeans (whites) is not for them."

In 1976 it was decided that parts of the schooling would be done in Afrikaans, with the scholars, and teachers, having no choice in the matter. The then Deputy Minister of Bantu Education, Punt Janson, said: "No, I have not consulted the African people on the language issue and I'm not going to. An African might find that 'the big boss' only spoke Afrikaans or only spoke English. It would be to his advantage to know both languages."

On June 16th, the scholars organised a march to protest the change to Afrikaans. A peaceful march, where between 10000 and 20000 scholars attended.

But on the day, the kids found themselves surrounded by police, who ended up firing into the crowd, and it all became choas. The official death toll was 23. These were just kids, just marching.

The June 16 Soweto uprising then catalysed major upheaval throughout our nation.

For more info, check out SA history online, and the June 16 photo gallery.

Freedom Day

Happy Freedom Day everyone!

Today, 13 years ago, South Africa held its first free and fair, democratic elections. 27 April 1994. Unfortunately, I was only 14 - too young to vote. Our nearest polling station was just a block or two away from my house, and the queue from the polling station reached about half way to our house. I don't think I really understood the importance of the occassion at the time, maybe to an extent, but not fully. But I remember how excited everyone was. I remember my mom sending me home to get biscuits for the people in the queue around us, as we waited for hours in the sun.

Today is Freedom Day, in celebration of that day. When we hear "freedom day," maybe we interpret it to mean that on that day the 80% or so of our population who were opressed gained their freedom, in the form of the right to vote. Which is true and very worth celebrating. But in actual fact, we all received our freedom that day. Because if that day hadn't come, I would not be free to be friends with the people I am friends with now, to go the places I go, to live the life I live. I would be privileged, but not free. So today we celebrate freedom for all of us, symbolised by the vote of April 27, 1995.

In the words of Melissa Steyn, "South Africa has never been more normal than it is now."

Waving goodbye to 2006

So 2006 is coming to a swift end. To close the year, our picture is of Kez and Muts on holiday at Titsikama earlier in the year, the cool chicks.

I apologise for the lack of posts recently. I know I didn't finish off my last post about "What is a maser?" I was holding back on posting anything else until I had finished that, but I think I will just have to finish it later. Watch this place.

I'm working on my new years resolutions. I never really make new years resolutions, because I never keep them, so why bother...? But I like to have some sort of general approach to the year to come.

Some general thoughts I have on going into the new year are...
* Being chilled out, no pressure.
* Focus on work, enjoying work and giving more time to work.
* Being more adventurous with my friends. I dearly love the friends I have, but I spend one heck of alot of time with the same people. So I think I need to start being a bit braver and hanging out with some different people.
* Worshipping God and loving people.

What is a maser?

What is a maser?
The word maser is an acronym for Microwave Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
The word laser stands for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation - its the same process, but lasers work with visible light, whereas masers work with microwave frequency radiation.

Okay, so a maser is an invisible laser, working as microwave frequencies (frequencies quite a bit lower than those of visible light). Whats with the "Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation" bit?

Well, lets start off by looking at what stimulated emission is. Say you have an atom or molecule - it has lots of energy levels (remember drawing electrons in the different energy levels of an atom at school?). Usually the lowest energy levels are all full, and the upper levels are maybe a bit full, but not much.

So we start off in a low energy state... Then a photon of light comes along - a photon of just the right frequency for the molecule - and the molecule absorbs the photon. Now it has more energy, and the higher energy level is more full. This is called absorbtion. Thats the first was atoms or molecules (particles, for the sake of brevity!) can interact with radiation, or light. The picture below illustrates two energy levels of a particle. The wave is a photon, that gets absorbed by the particle, moving it to a higher energy state.



The second way particles interact with radiation is called spontaneous emission. When our particle has absorbed a photon it is in a higher energy state, but its not really stable. It wants things to be back to normal, comfortable with all the lowest energy levels full. So the particle spontaneously emits a photon of the same special frequency for the atom, and drops back to a lower energy.

This is actually how scientists can tell what the sun and stars and the Milky Way are made of. We look out into the sky and capture the radiation from a particular object. Then we look for special frequencies that ony come from certain particles - we call emission or absorbtion of these special frequencies spectral lines. If we see those special frequencies, we know we are seeing that element or molecule. For example, I look at silicon monoxide, SiO, which is at a frequency of 43122.03 MHz. When we see emission at that frequency, we know it is SiO.

But I've got side-tracked from the main question - what is a maser? Tune in to the next post for the answer!

Too good

This book is great, I cant help myself, here is another quote:

... But the trouble with deep belief is that it costs something. And there is something deep inside of me, some selfish beast of a subtle thing that doesn't like the truth because it carries responsability, and if I actually believe these things I have to do something about them. It is so, so cumbersome to believe anything. And it isn't cool. I mean its cool in a Reality Bites, Welcome to Sarajevo, Amnesty International sense, but that is only as good as dreadlocks. Chicks dig it to a point, but you can't be all about it; you also have to want a big house and expensive clothes because in the end, our beliefs are about as enduring as seasonal fashion.

Its from a chapter entitled "Belief." He speaks about his friend "Andrew the Protester," who is a Christian, and politics wise, a liberal. Andrew goes to protests, he's an anti-Bush, anti-IMF kinda guy. And on Saturday mornings he feeds the homeless, hangs out with his homeless friends. The author, Donald, says of Andrew: "My Republican friends get frustrated when I paint Andrew as a hero, but I like Andrew because he actually believes things that cost him something. Even if I disagree with Andrew, I love that he is willing to sacrifice for what he believes."

Andrew is the one who taught me that what I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do.

Blue Like Jazz

A quote from the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller:

"My most recent faith struggle is not one of intellect. I don't really do that anymore. Sooner or later you just figure out there are some guys who don't believe in God and they can prove He doesn't exist, and some other guys who do believe in God and can prove He does exist, and the argument stopped being about God a long time ago and now its about who is smarter, and honestly I don't care. I don't believe I will ever walk away from God for intellectual reasons. Who knows anything anyway? If I walk away from Him, and please pray that I never do, I will walk away for social reasons, identity reasons, deep emotional reasons, the same reasons that any of us do anything."

... not to say we shouldn't exercise out minds in our faith, but I think that this quote has alot of truth in it. It kindof reminds me of Psalm 131:
"Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too high for me..." (KJV) - I would have preferred to quote it from the NIV, but my Bible is at home unfortunately!

Its a great book, I recommend it. Very hounest, open, authentic. And because of his authenticity, I think, he leads you along with him into lots of amazing truths about God and Christianity. Rather than just informing you of them, or teaching you about them. Its a bit like what Gareth ways saying in "Apologetic of the heart" - you feel like you are a pilgrim on a journey with him.

The authors note in the beginning says "Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way." Beautiful.

Wonderful

from here.

Water followup

Just a followup on the Grahamstown water situation. To quote from the email with water test results:

In summary, the tap water on campus was safe (if unpleasant) to drink.

The tests the Biochemistry & Microbiology Department did on the water all came back as safe for humans, but not safe for trout. Trout are apparantly alot more sensitive to changes in the water and ickiness in the water. Not suprising, I guess, considering they live and breathe in the water, and they are alot littler than us!

Anyway, in all the water upheavel my geyser has stopped working. And my landlady is away, so I will just wait till she returns to sort it out. Life without hot water, arg.

On a triumphant note:
I have now parallel parked twice with Chloe! *woot*
And my external hard drive is back so I can back up my work. *woot*
And life is good :)

Public Service Announcement

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE
TO ALL STAFF AND STUDENTS

Please be aware that serious concerns have been voiced over
the toxicity levels of the municipal water supply. According to
Martin Davies of the Department of Ichthyology and Fisheries
Science, over 35 000 fish at the University's Experimental Fish
Farm have died over the last few days as a result. He says that
trout fingerlings are seen as an accepted early warning system of
polluted water. The deaths of these fish together with behavioural
abnormalities which has been observed are indicative of the
presence of heavy metal pollutants in the water.

The particles are extremely toxic to human beings and cannot be
removed through cooking or boiling water. Samples of water are
currently being tested in the University's Biotechnology
Department but results of these tests will only be available by
tomorrow.

In the meantime you are requested NOT to drink water from any
taps on campus (or at home) and not to cook with this water if
your home or residence was affected by the recent water outage.

The University is making plans to bring further supplies of bottled
drinking water to Grahamstown for distribution to residences.

Please also note that all food served in the residences has been
prepared with 'safe water'. The University has been forced to
adjust menus and serving timetables as a result of the current
problems and regrets any inconvenience.

Those affected as asked to be patient as we attempt to manage
the situation.

Director: Communications & Development Division
Rhodes University

Math tutoring

A tutor is not a teacher in the usual sense: it is not his job to convey information. The student should find for himself the information. The teacher [sic] acts as a constructive critic, helping him to sort it out, to try it out simetimes, in the sense of exploring a possible avenue, rejecting one approach in favour of another. Moore, 1968, pg 18

I've been tutoring math to these kids from Nombuleo for a few weeks, and its been on my mind for the last few days. I read this quote in a paper, and it echo's my thoughts (in part). I have been using the phrase tutoring, rather than teaching, deliberately for some time. I 've put a fair amount of thought into how to approach teaching/tutoring these kids, and these are some of the thoughts/principles I have come up with:

• "First, do no harm" (Innoxa) - At the very least, let me not confuse them, not undermine their confidence, not undermine what they already know, and not undermine their teachers!
• The Baard method - In University Physics tuts, we are encouraged to use the Baard method - named after one of our previous HODs. You get small groups to work togther at different sections of the board, and you walk between them, helping as necessary. I try and use a similar method for tutoring high-school math, where possible. We usually sit around the board and the kids take turns doing problems on the board for us, but the whole group helps and advises, and does calculations on their calculator for the person at the boad when necessary. I was actually quite suprised this method worked - its usually remarkably difficult to get university students up to the board to answer questions for the class, or even in groups! Sometimes it gets a bit difficult when there are quite a few kids - 4 is a comfortable maximum to use this method. Thankfully Brent has been helping me out, so we can sometimes break into two groups.
  
• Tutoring, not teaching - These are kids writing matric math in a few weeks now. Frankly, there is not really time to teach them anything new. And perhaps more importantly, they already go to school, sit in math classes, have a math teacher and learn math. My goal isn't to teach them new things, my goal is to help them apply (unpack!) what they already know, and to help them grow in confidence. The goal is that they can actually *do* math problems. On occasion I have to teach them things (you need to know the special triangles, for example), but that is not the primary goal of my meeting with them. Its much easier to stand at the board and explain the answer to a question to them, much much easier than getting them to figure it out for themselves! But at the end of the day the goal is them being able to do things themselves, not me feeling good about my explanation. Which is part of my motivation for making them do things on the board themselves.
  
• They lack confidence - For the most part, they lack confidence to a detrimental degree. Part of the motivation for tutoring, rather than teaching, is to show them that they actualy know quite alot. And they are more capable than they thought. There is little as empowering as realising you actually *can* do something you initially thought was impossibly difficult. And with a bit of prodding in the right direction, they often can do math questions they really thought they couldn't.
  
• They are generally mentally lazy - So am I. Most of us are. Especially in areas we we lack confidence... there is just no motivation to mentally apply yourself to something you think you have no hope of figuring out! So I have to provoke them to think, allow them to get things wrong and have their class-mates correct them, just wait while they stubbornly refuse to ask questions, try and think of leading questions that will give them just enough of a clue to get started, and then they are engaged and its much easier.
• Helping each other - I try to leave them to correct, encourage and help each other as much as possible. In fact I keep my involvement as minimal as possible. Their first language is Xhosa, so ideally I would like to speak to them in Xhosa, but alas I cannot. So when they all discuss a problem together in Xhosa, thats great. Also, they are all learning the same way, and they have roughly the same information/way of understanding in their heads. I did matric maths yonks ago, so in many respects they are more qualified to help each other than I am to help them. And referring back to the first point - at the very least, I don't want to confuse them. Rather let them explain to each other in a way they are all familiar with, than me giving an explanation that works for me, but that is unfamiliar and intimidating to them. Also, it pulls them all in to engage with the questions. When someone gets things wrong on the board, I often leave it for a while to give someone else in the group a chance to see the error and correct it - which often happens. Sometimes I do step in and correct something, especially if it is a fundamental error/misunderstanding, but I try to keep this to a minimum.

One of the reasons I have thought this through alot is that I heard that you have to be quite careful when to teach kids from non-former-model-C schools (jeepers, what a mouthful). Also just because I'd like to actually be making a difference to these kids, not just wasting 3 hours of their and my lives every Saturday!
If you have any advice or thoughts on the matter, I would love to hear them!

Mutsa's party

It was Mutsa's party on Friday evening - it was her birthday on Friday. Minz cooked about a billion kilograms of curry, and we spent Wednesday and Thursday evenings rolling roti. Altogether we made about 150 rotis for the party, and Claire and Sizwe and Verashni made a some batches too.

It rocked... says Minoshni :) And it did!

"Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten." Lilo & Stitch

A lesson

When I was in about standard 6 or 7, I heard that when my friends did well in class their parents paid them. I was in the 'A' stream class so most of my friends did well academically, and I had been doing pretty well too at the time. So I figured I should be rewarded with money too! After all, most of my friends were...

So one day I went and told my dad that I reckoned I should be financially rewarded for good work. So my dad thought about it and gave me what, in retrospect, was a wonderful answer.

He thought about it and answered: "Well, I tell you what, if you come first in class I'll give you R xxx, if you come second in class I'll give you R yyy, if you come third in class I'll give you R zzz. But if you come fourth in class, YOU have to give ME R zzz, if you come fifth in class you have to give me R yyy and if you come lower than fifth you have to give me R xxx."
heh.
So I thought "!!!!!!"
And responded "no thanks, I don't like that arrangement" and my desire for (and expectation of!) reward was thoroughly gone :)

It was the best lesson because in a few words he managed to express how silly it is to place too much importance on academic achievement. And how silly it is to expect rewards for everything!

Kepler, Kepler

I'm in the lab for no good reason at 10:30, arg. I am waiting for Kepler (my physics pc) to finish running something so I can start something else. I am very attached to Kepler, but he is getting a bit old and sluggish, prone to erratic break downs. On Sunday all of his usb ports died, for no good reason. So I'm trying to back things up, but it looks like my external hard-drive might be poked. Fun and games :)

So what shall I do with my time Lord? Just waiting here.

I've been browsing through some blogs (Verashni, Natalie, Binks, Vicky, Biance, Ralph, James, Neels, Rebecca, Lindsey, Nathan etc etc.) I must make myself a little Blog Boxi al la Twitch. Something I really enjoy about reading all of your blogs is that you realise that people are even cooler than you think, and more hectic than you think, more creative than you think... you guys are so great :)

And just a final thought, before I try make good use of my waiting time:
Hear ye, hear ye: It is John (Richter)'s birthday on Monday, and Mutsa's birthday next Friday.

Busi's party #2

This is a continuation to the "Busi's party" post, because I really can't do her party justice with just one picture. Above is my friend Emma, and her foster/adopted child (I'm not sure which), busi. Emma was in Dingemans with me way back, before Spar was Pick 'n Pay, and The Blue Room was The Red Cafe. It was Busi's birthday party. She had a jumping castle, which was awesome. The top picture is of Busi and some of her friends on the jumping castle. The little girl in yellow is Emma's other child, Thandi. Thandi is very sweet, she has a lovely happy disposition.

Busi likes tomato and chicken and mashed potato and pretty much nothing else. She does not like sweets, bizarrely enough. She loves barbies, and has about three thousdand million of them, as well as a Barbie car and a Barbie house. She feels that it is inappropriate to cut hear Barbie's hair, even though some of her friends cut their Barbies hair. And it was her birthday party.

Emma says that "fancy shaped party cake" is one of the skills you have to master as a mother :)

Mother abuse

Oh dear, I have not posted in a *long* time!

Yesterday I was tutoring math to some kids (well, matric scholars I suppose!) from Nombulelo. Nombulelo is a school in Grahamstown. Anyway, there were six of them, two guys and four girls. Towards the end of the session we were discussing when to schedule our next meeting and I suggested next Saturday morning. One of the guys commented that Saturday afternoon was better for him, because he does chores on Saturday morning, like washing clothes. So one of the girls advised him that his family should be washing his clothes to help him out, because he is writing matric exams. He was agast: "That would be mother abuse!" "Yes," chimed in the other guy "we couldn't do that, thats mother abuse!"

My mother was washing my clothes well into my degree... even when I lived in another town and had access to a washing machine in my res!!! How embarassing - they put me to shame! :)

PhD comics

I love PhD comics. The strip above is so like me its embassing.

Busi's party

Back in Grahamstown

So I am back in Grahamstown from my stint in Cape Town.

In my absence, my Church had a prayer vigil, Christians@Rhodes had a mission, my brother went on camp, my flat got broken into, my car battery died and my former digsmates went to the Greek ball (as you can see in the pic above!)

Thankfully, it seems nothing was actually taken from my flat - the burglers were probably disturbed by the armed response people. Hooray.

Being in CT was fun, but its good to be back and get into the swing of things again!

Gratitude

I'm eating a haddock and broccoli woolies microwave meal for dinner. Yummy.

I was thinking yesterday/this morning how I have lots of things to be grateful for. I am grateful to be at Rhodes, to have learned fourier transforms via flipping-and-shifting methods. I am grateful for two great supervisors, tons of resources at my disposal, a great lab of people, a great staff in the department. I an really grateful that I have had the chance to travel and see other universities, and go to a few conferences. I'm grateful for having gone through an undergrad programme which developed lots of practical skills I use now. I'm grateful for people who believe in me and encourage me.

I often get discouraged academically, but the truth of the matter is that the Lord had put me is such a favoured place, in terms of the background I have, and the place I'm in now. And I am very grateful to him. I commit it all to Him.

Great quote

I just found a great quote:

"How easy it would have been in South Africa for the natural feelings of resentment at white domination to have been turned into feelings of hatred and a desire for revenge against the white community. Here, where every day in every aspect of life, every non-white comes up against the ubiquitous sign, "Europeans Only," and the equally ubiquitous policeman to enforce it - here it could well be expected that a racialism equal to that of their oppressors would flourish to counter the white arrogance towards blacks. That it has not done so is no accident. It is because, deliberately and advisedly, African leadership for the past 50 years, with the inspiration of the African National Congress which I had the honour to lead for the last decade or so until it was banned, had set itself steadfastly against racial vain-gloriousness."
- Albert Luthuli

A week in Cape Town

I've been in Cape Town for a week now. So far, I:

• Have given 5 lectures. Its hard.
• Went to the inaugural lecture of Prof Ian Scott, entitled "Equity, Merit and Development: Critical Tensions in Higher Education in South Africa and Abroad." Very interesting - "equity related educational strategies are a central component of development."
• Have hung out with Taryn, Emma, Linda, Roshni.
  
• Went to Busisiwe's 7th birthday party! There was a jumping castle! Woot.
• Went to a lunch time lecture organised by the UCT YCL (young communist league), where the SA minister of Intelligence, Ronnie Kasrils, spoke about the conflict in Palestein. Very interesting.
• Went to Taryn's cell group - great bunch of girls. We did a Bible study on a passage from Romans.

It has been quite an eventful week!

A picture is worth a thousand words

Choosing a picture to represent a preson is a significant thing. A few months ago there was some scandal in the news involving Bill Cosby, and the article in the Daily Dispatch that covered it included the most horrible picture of him - he looked... smarmy. He looked like the kind of person who could have done what he was being accused of. And I thought: "Now, is that fair?" They must have tons of happy Bill Cosby pictures on file, but they chose the one that made him look like a creep." Because they wanted people to think "hey, we thought this oke was a nice guy, but actually, maybe he is creepy..." I suppose. So the picture we choose to represent someone says alot about how we view them and how we want others to view them, even if our choice may not be deliberate.

So anyway, I saw these two pictures of the new Rhodes VC in the "this Week at Rhodes." These pictures are definately saying something! Something good.

UCT: Pro's and cons

Pros:

• great coffee
• great food - so much choice!
• its beautiful
• the smell of the sea

Cons:

• expensive coffee!!!
• no drosty lawns
• you can't really walk safely through middle to upper campus at night
  

A post

Minoshni poined out that it has been a while since I have blogged. I have been saving up all my blogging thoughts for next week when I will be in Cape Town, probably with a fair amount of free time and not all that much access to work. So I will be free to spend my life blogging.

Nonetheless, let me post here to break the blogging silence before I go.

Thought for today is a quote from the book Dune:
"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration."

When I actually allow myself to realise it, I see that I am afraid of alot of things. And fear often motivates what I do. Unacceptable! Perfect love (God's perfect love) drives out all fear, and humility (or correct identity) drives out fear too. The two are strongly linked I guess :)

To security!

The cool kids

Oliver and I, the cool kids at the back of the bus. On the way back from the mayoral dinner at SAIP. On the other side, at the back, were Richard (taking the photo) and Sean.

I'm such a girl

I was walking down High Street today feeling tired and bleh and I bumped into a guy I know. Who said "How are you? You are looking radiant..."
:)
I felt instantly cheerful. I'm such a girl!

I can do it too!

I can do the salt trick too!

In the background, Nicole. With hot chocolate and a marshmellow. Nicole and Romona came over for dinner - they are great.

SAIP

Last week I was at the SAIP (South African Institute of Physics) conference at UWC. I heard some good talks, some completely-over-my-head talks and gave a talk myself. Posters for preference in the future!

I also met a great bunch of people - some UKZN guys (Sean and Angela and Michel (sp?) and some undergrads too) and some UJ people, a couple of old Rhodians (Ingle Gledhill and David Roux) and saw the Hermanus people and HartRAO people.

"Science is sometimes a very human interpretation of nature." Harm Moraal

The picture at the top is Richard Grant's party trick, from the Banquet on the last evening!

The power of the arts

"When the mode of the music changes, the walls of the city shake"
- Plato

Its the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown at the moment. Today I went to see a play called Prodigal, written and directed by a couple of people I know. I just went to support really, but I was actually so... impressed is the wrong word. It was really moving, the story was good, the acting was good. It made me cry and it made me think and feel. I reccommend it.

Kim

This post in about Kim McAlpine. Kim is my travel partner at the moment - we are in Cape Town to see our supervisor, Dr Athol Kemball. Kim is the intrepid driver who whizzes us around Cape Town in our rental Citi Golf and endures my apalling navigation skills with good cheer. We are staying in her sister Susan's house. The picture above is Kim with her sister's cat, Possm. Possm is somewhat psychotic. He is a wild panther trapped in the body of a stripey kitten. Which is no good for the couches :)

Anyway, Kim is doing a Physics/Astronomy MSc. You can see her Physics page here. She is very with it when it comes to things Physics/Mathsy and she has even approx. mastered AIPS, quite a feat. I admire how she is determined to figure things out properly, to understand things properly.

What else? Kim has an adorable dog named Max, who she dotes on. She is a stirling pet owner, which says alot about a person I think. Kim is also into all sorts of cool things like scuba-diving. She is adventurous like that. She has a cute house which she invests hours into making pretty. In fact, I think Kim is into beautiful things. From her house to her clothes, to enduring with eye makeup.

Kim is the social coordinator of the Physics department, and is (to use a terribly cheesy phrase, which is nonetheless true) "loved by all." She only had to complain of the heat and our lab got two airconditioners! :) She is very friendly and hospitable.

She is great to travel with because she makes up for me being shy :) And she is fun. And interesting. And is brave enough to drive in Cape Town.

C.S. Lewis quotes

Some fantastic C.S. Lewis quotes:

"A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading."

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable."

"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."

"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil."

"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities."

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

"I gave in, and admitted that God was God."

For Oliver & Nathan:
"The real Oxford is a close corporation of jolly, untidy, lazy, good-for-nothing humorous old men, who have been electing their own successors ever since the world began and who intend to go on with it. They'll squeeze under the Revolution or leap over it when the time comes, don't you worry."

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way.""

"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."

And the grand finale:
"You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me."
:)

(from this page)

Minoshni

Over the weekend I was chatting to someone (Donnae!), and Minoshni's name came up as one of my digs mates. And Donnae asked "Who is Minoshni??" Presumably she was intrigued by references to Minz on this very blog.

So this post is about Minoshni, or Minz (or Doo, if you are Mutsa). You can see her on the right in the picture on the top, its a pic of the grad garden party.

Minoshni is very cool. She likes her feet, she had fuzzy pink gloves but now they are gone :(
She is an uber-cool DJ. And a journalist. She may become an investigative journalist and go undercover as a janitor. She looks after a beautiful work web page and a blog. Check out her blog for info on India, cricket, and the life of Minoshni.

She runs the yearly RMR Cuppa for CANSA, she runs the Ad team for Cue, she does the RMR ABSA Top 40. Evidence of the fact that she is multi-talented! And a brilliant leader, I alway love listening to Minoshni's Leadership Tips.

She may or may not start an exciting training business which we came up with in the kitchen, some years ago. She is learning french. She is very grown up with all sorts of things like life insurance. She likes princess movies, like me.

I'd better get back to work, so I'll wrap off with "Minoshni is cool." :)

Graduation 2006

This year John and I graduated together, which was rather nice. This is the best photo from my brother's camera (the rest are not that great), especially for Minoshni :)

The Breakfast Table of The Lord

I've been doing some blog surfing recently, having found Dilly's blog, and Carla's and Danie's and, heck, Natalie's and Lindsey's and Donnae's and so on and so on. Which has made me feel that my blog is decidedly unspiritual. Which is fine, Fridges and Kepler are important too. There is no sacred/secular divide!! :)
Anyway, last night in Bible School I got thinking about... the breakfast table of the Lord. So this is my semi-spiritual post on... The Breakfast Table of The Lord.

"You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies" Psalm 23:5
I have this image of The Table of The Lord in my head. Its really long, there are lots of people at it, they're having a great time and celebrating. Kindof like Christmas dinner with the family. Except with goblets and stuff. I don't know why, but tables with kings have to be partially medieval. Sounds great. Like the Audio Adrenalin song Big House: "A big big table, with lots and lots of food" :) (Also, a big big yard were we can play football.)
Anyway, then I got thinking, what about the breakfast table of the Lord? As opposed to the party/dinner tbale of the Lord. The atmosphere at the breakfast table of the Lord must be completely different. A breakfast table is alot smaller, for one. More intimate really, at breakfast its mostly just family. And its me as I am at the breakfast table. Still kindof groggy from sleep. Maybe still in my PJ's, in my glasses, hair a mess. Probably haven't brushed my teeth yet. But thats fine, because its breakfast. And the breakfast table is very chilled out. You don't have to even talk really, if you don't want to. Breakfast is a good time for comfortable silences. Or if you do want to chet, you can chat about your day to come, your yesterday. Just livin' life stuff.

So as for me, I want a place at the dinner table of the Lord, definately. I want to celebrate and laugh and praise and rejoice. But I also want my all bran and tea at the breakfast table of the Lord, in my blue bunny pyjamas.

A Fridge

I bought a fridge today. Scary stuff, very Grown-Up. But the Lord is good!
"The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it." Proverbs 10:22

Now I just need to make a plan to get it delivered to my flat. Any ideas anyone? Apparently you should transport it upright. Its a Defy fridge, which I am really happy about because they have 2 year warantees and apparantly they are very good about fixing things if the need arises. Hooray.
I looked for a picture of it to put here for y'all to see (google images!). I battled to find the right one by gooling "defy fridge," so I just tried "defy." And then I didn't find any pictures of fridges! Certainly not in the first rew pages of results anyway. And aweful lot of "Defy Gravity" though :) Its funny how we figure out these "laws" about the world and then we are excited about the thought of breaking them.

As good a place as any

This is as good a place as any to note down a few linux commands I always manage to forget:

• How to untar afile.tar
• tar -xvf afile.tar
• How to untar and unzip afile.tar.gz
• tar -xvzf afile.tar.gz
• How to see how much memory is taken up by certain directories or what not
• du
  
• du -h (Human readable - using K and M)
• du -m (Gives size in Megabytes, M)
  

Thinking God's thoughts after Him

Kepler still only has half a brain, I am afraid. Hda is in hospital. Fortunately, Kepler is hardy and I can still do most things with but half a brain... especially considering the half I have is still 80 Gigs :)
Kepler, incidentally, was the one to use the phrase "thinking God's thoughts after Him."

On another note, I have to do a short talk for the Physics 1E1 students tomorrow about... problem solving skills?? I have to think about it now -> back to work!

My poor Kepler

My poor computer Kepler is sick. His second hard-drive, my data drive (which, strangely, is hda), is on its way out. You can see him undergoing open heart surgery in the picture. And you can see the scary error messages on the screen on the left. Like "Uncorrectable Error" "Input/Output error".

I realised after the Bible School quiz last night that I really hadn't learned hard enough for Life of Faith. Its funny, but I think if I had to redo my undergrad now I would not do nearly as well. Tests and stuff just don't motivate me anymore. But it actually isn't good enough, and I need to learn properly for ENLI quizzes. And of course, work on my academic work ethic too :) Its not that I have a terrible work ethic, although its not the best at the moment, but as things change and goals change and the way you work changes, and studies become a heck of a lot more flexible, it becomes quite difficult. To motivate yourself, and to work to SERIOUSLY long term goals. Why work 9 - 5 today for a project only due in 2 years? But I must, because I enjoy it and because I want to work in a way that glorifies God, and because there are still standards, although they are less tangible now.

One runs the risk of weeping a little

"One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed"
-- The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I re-read The Little Prince yesterday, and its sadder than I remember. But perhaps its just because I was sad at the time of reading.

Boas from the inside and boas from the outside.

On an entirely different note, I was thinking about this verse recently:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV) Romans 8:28

Amazing. Does that mean that God will really use all of my mess-ups, my selfish acts, things I have done with terrible motives and so forth... for good? Wonderful. Freeing.

My poem

A poem I wrote some years ago... :)

"for my best friend:

The Toffy-Apple Song

You are sweeter than toffy-apples
and sticky sticky like
i couldn't get rid of You
even if i wanted to
like to be without you would
not to be me
You are yellower than a
scribbled sun
6 lines and a circle
waxy bright
You are lighter than a red
fizz-pop
You make me implode
explode
implode into a ball of mirth
and i love you like marshmellows.

-- LL Richter"

Laura and I

Laura and I get along rather well, its great. Especially considering we have to spend alot of time together.

We like the same kinds of books. We laught at the same types of jokes. Although I think she can be a bit silly sometimes. We both love companionable silences. And Nicole Nourdeman. We like the same kinds of foods... although, sometimes she is too lazy to cook. So I cook for her, once in a while :) And of course, she shares my love of tomatos. And chocolate.

We even have the same favourite colour. Its bizarre. I like having her around :)

The rape of Mr Smith

I was going through a pile of my old papers a while back and I found a mock interview I had written out (from the net), of a guy who had been mugged. The interview is making a point about rape and how rape victims are treated. I looked about and found a similar interview on the net here. Its worth a read, I think.

Photo Blogs

I love photo blogs. Roger's blog is an excellent example. But then, he takes spectacular photos too, so maybe his blog isn't typical. At any rate, I don't have a digital camera so a full photo blog is not viable (and I recently lost most of the data, including photos, on my laptop due to a monumentally stupid "upgrade" attempt). Nonetheless, let me entertain you with the few photos I have hanging around on my hard drive.

The picture at the top is of my third year "Control and Optimasation" math class. From the left: Me (not the best picture!), Dr Remsing (lecturer), Harold, Adam, Razvan. Sitting upstairs in the math library, after a lecture. Aaah yes, back when I was an undergrad. Adam used to bring jelly math shapes to tuts.

Public Service Announcement

This announcement brought to my blog-reading public, dedicated to Jateen in response to his comment on my previous post.

I am, in the eloquent words of Oliver, a parsimonious shopper. I feel
strongly about paying the smallest possible amount for any given product.
This leads me on trails through Checkers, Clicks and Pick 'n Pay in search
of the cheapest possible All Bran Flakes, for example, or specials on Lux
Soap.

Last week my quest was for toilet paper. I usually get the plain 1-ply
Twinsaver, and that was my plan on this occasion. Since I was doing a big
bi-weekly shop, I thought I may as well buy bulk and keep costs down. So I
found sets of 4 rolls of toilet paper, and put one in my basket. I casually
looked at the single rolls to see how much money I was saving by buying in
bulk.

To my horror, I saw that it is, in fact, cheaper (per item) to buy single
rolls of Twinsaver toilet paper than the packets for four. We are being had.

Let me repeat that, as a warning to you all:
It is cheaper, per roll, to buy single rolls of 1-ply twinsaver toilet paper
than to buy packs of four.

Do not be taken in! Buy single rolls!

Umbrellas

I've been meaning to post this for an age and a half, so here goes.

The other day (now probably a month back), I was walking in a light rain, under my umbrella. As I was walking, I heard swish-swish, swish-swish coming from above me. I noticed that the swish-swish-es were in time with my steps, so I thought it may be the umbrella clasp swishing against the unbrella as I walked. I look at the clasp and it wasn't moving, so I discarded that explanation. So I thought, perhaps the rain is swishing off the umbrella with the up-and-down motion of my steps. I looked carefully and there really wasn't enough water on my umbrella to be doing that. So I was thouroughly stumped. I tried turning my umbrella different ways and all sorts, and couldn't figure it out.

Until I realised that the sound I was hearing was from my shoes, that had absorbed a bit of water and were somewhat squishy. Why was I hearing it from above me then? I can only assume that my umbrella was acting as a bit of a lens for the sound of my shoes, reflecting it back to my ears... so it sounded like it was coming from above.

Bizarre. Or can anyone else offer another explanation?

Wallpaper

A month or two ago I saw a friend of mine (Lester) had a world map inside the back cover of his diary. Naturally, I now need to own a diary with a world map inside the back cover. Unfortunately, it appears that these diaries cost of the order of R100, as opposed to other diaries with similar functionality which cost around R30. So the miser in me won and I bought the ~R30 diary. I resolved to draw a pretty world map to stick inside the back cover, but never got around to it. Also, it would be difficult because it would be alot of detail in a smallish map, if I wanted country and capital names, which I do.

Anyway, I put it behind me. But a couple of days ago it occurrec to me that I could get a world map (with country names and capitals!) as a wallpaper for my laptop. And actually, thinking about it, I only really want Africa, not the whole world. So I downloaded an appropriate picture off the web, altered it a bit so it didn't distort to fit on my screen. And now I have a map of Africa (with country and capital names!) for my wallpaper (at the top of this post).

I've already learned 3 capitals:
Mozambique - Maputo
Malawi - Lilongwe
Tanzania - Dar es Salaam

Global warming?

Global warming... it is us pumping gas into the atmosphere, or is it nature just getting on with things? Try this interview.

This post is the short version of a post which I accidentally deleted... Please let me know if you have any thoughts on the interview!

Peas and Sweet Corn

I was making cottage pie for supper tonight (it was yummy) and I made some veg to go with it. I was boiling the frozen pea-and-sweet corn mix, when I noticed that the peas and corn seemed to separate into pea regions and corn regions. So I thought maybe they just came out of the packet in frozen pea clumps and frozen corn clumps... So I swished the peas and corn around a few times in the pot and true's bob, every time they soon separated into pea regions and corn regions again. Bizarre. My theory version 1.0 is that the corn is lighter than the peas, so it gets caught in the currents in the boiling water and ends up together.

Eyebrow disaster

This morning I went to get my eyebrows shaped, tinted, and my eyelashed tinted. I have never plucked my eyebrows before - they are almost invisible so I felt no need. So today was my first eyebrow plucking experience... *ack* !! Why on earth would someone regularly do this to themselves?!?

As for the eyebrow tint. Oh dear, dear me. Dear, dear, dear me. Enough said.

The eyelashes are okay, nice actually :)

Otherwise, in my life:
I am at home, in East London. My brother is at home too, and he is also doing well. He is chilling in anticipation of more chemo next-next week. Which isn't the greatest to look forward to, but it will be a much lighter dose than the ealier ones. So if you're wondering what to pray for, the next round of chemo would be good... that it killes the remaining cancer. And that his bone marrow biopsy at the end of January is all good, and shows he is altogether in remission. And for provision for all the bills :)

Thanks to everyone who did a million things for me and John and my family. To the guys who came to the prayer meetings (especially the early morning ones!), thank you so much. And all the other people I know were praying. And all the people who helped with practical stuff, like sending John stuff or organising things, or helping me out when I was going to Cape Town. And probably even more things I can't think of off hand. Thank you.

Update

I haven't blogged in a while. I expect that most of you have been following my cousin Megan's blog to see how John is doing - its much more regular and thorough than mine! There is a link on the right if you haven't been before.

John is doing well. He finished his second run of chemo today and he is okay. Bit of yuckiness, sore eyes returning, nausea, but okay.

I am going to Cape Town tomorrow, hooray. I'm getting a lift, which has its pro's and con's. Its funny, but in a way I have grown fond of the bus.

Bus pros:

• its overnight so you don't waste a day
• you can read
• you can sleep, or at least doze
• you can look at lots of different towns
• you can ponder life, talk to God, rest - things their aren't enough of in my days

Bus cons:

• bus smell
• potentially dodgy people on the bus with you
• scary toilets
• late busses

Car pros:

• good company
• fun stops
• aircon, if you have it!
• your own timing

Car cons:

• you can't sleep really
• you often have to wake up horribly early

D-Day

Well, today is D-day for John. He has been in the flat with my mom, recouperating, for just over a week. At about 4 today he is going back to the hospital for more tests to see if he is ready for the next round of chemo.

I'm hoping he is! And I'm hoping for a good report, that he will be home soon.

Chantel asked me yesterday about the possability of John continuuing treatment in East London. I checked with my mom - she says that yes, he will continue with treatment in EL, but only the oral stuff. Anything they have to give him intravenously will be done in Cape Town, via J-line.

Will keep you all posted about the test outcome!

Just another day at the flat

An update on how my brother is doing:
He is still at the flat with my mom. He went in for blood tests on Monday and his WBC was still 1.3, as it was last Thursday. Hwever, his platelet count was high wich is great. Unfortunately the WBC wasn't high enough to start the next round of chemo. So he is just waiting at the flat for his WBC to increase. He is going in for tests again on Monday, so I hope that his counts will be high enough to start the next chemo then. Of course, chemo isn't something to look forward too, but the faster hings move the faster John comes home, and that is something to look forward too! People generally have between 4 and 9 rounds of chemo, with recovery period between. May it not be so long for John!

The (wonderful) comp sci department gave John some sort of 3G modem. !!! Very generous - thanks to Prof Wells and the department. So John has been trying to set that up. Its been a bit impossible though, because I have Fedora on my laptop and there are no drivers for the 3G card. (I am not a CS fundi, so I may b missing something here. Nonetheless, you get the point.) So Chris is going to download the Linux drivers which seem to be available on the Nokia website, hoorah. So that should be great for John when it gets down to him on Friday.

Generally, John is feeling rather good at the moment. Going for short walks, reading, eating my mom's cooking. Just chillin'

Fantastic News

Some fantastic news came in this afternoon! John's WBC was measured again today, and it was 1.3 -which is good. But the great news is that he can go home to the flat for a few days! Fantastic :)

Also, Nathan (on the left in the picture) has gone to visit John in Cape Town. He arrived this morning from Grahamstown on the bus (thats real devotion), and is leaving for home tomorrow afternoon. I bet he didn't expect so much excitement when he saw John! I expect they have been running around making preparations for John to go to the flat. He needs a "low microbial" diet, which basically means nothing that may have bacteria in it, that could take him out with his low WBC. So no yoghurt unfortunately.

Sunflower

I thought I'd better do another long overdue post on how my brother is doing! Megan's blog is great, very thorough, so I'm not sure that these is so much that I can add, but I will do anyway! Please do comment if you are reading this, so I can know to carry on.

I chatted to John for a while this evening, and he is doing well. At the moment he is sitting in the Sunflower Ward, the Haematology ward, recovering from the chemo from a few weeks ago. Actually, things have been going well. His eyes have cleared up alot, so they are not so light sensitive. You can see his eyes from a few weeks ago on the left there - looking pretty scary with most of the white red! Last I saw his there were still patches of red around his iris, but it was much better. I'm sure its even better now. So he is able to read now, which is fantastic, and he can concentrate for longer and go for walks in the garden periodically, which is great. There are several fairly scary ducks in the garden. The only problem with going for walks in the garden is that you have to lug this huge drip stand around and are fearful of falling and putting your J-line out, which would be nasty. So a nice sedate walk through the garden it is, no chasing the ducks :)

He is also feeling alot better in th evenings. For the last week or two he has been starting to feel yuck mid afternoon and by the evenings he often feels terrible. Last Friday night was horrible for him. But these past two nights have been much better.

Tomorrow is blood test day (Tuesday and Thursday), so we will get to see what his blood is doing - the big question. What he should have is White blood count (WBC) about 4.6, Red blood count (RBC) about 10 or something, I forget, and platelets about 120. I think I am making us the red blood count though. At any rate, his WBC was 0.8, 0.9, 0.9, 0.7, 0.8, 0.9 etc. for ages. It went up to 1.4 last week, but was 0.9 again on Tuesday. So tomorrow will tell again... I look forward to a WBC of 3 :)

Its a bit of a weird position to be in, waiting for your body to do something you have absolutely no control over (except to pray, of course). Normally, when you are sick you wrap up, have some soup and some meds, relax a bit, sleep a bit, and things come right. There is something you can *do* to quicken your recovery. Well, there is nothing (I know of) that you can do personally to make your bone marrow make white blood cells quicker! So its a bit of a weird situation. But as I said, you can pray, and that is what we have been doing! No one whose hope is in the Lord will ever be put to shame.

John

About 2 weeks ago my brother was diagnosed with leukemia.

This is him looking very sickshortly after they flew him to Cape Town, to the Constantiaberg mediclinic. He had just had surgery to put in something called a J-line, which puts the chemo (and various other stuff) directly into your jugular. You can see part of it under his chin on the left in the picture.

He is looking alot better now, and doing alot better. That initial surgery was rather hectic, with his body not dealing to well with it. One of the reasons that his body didn't deal so well with it was that his platelet count was so low he wasn't clotting, so little problems = big bleeding.

I'm going to see him in Cape Town again tomorrow, so I probably won't be able to give people too much news from there (and Megan is doing a fantastic job with her blog), but I will post when I can to keep people updated! I know that lots of people are wanting news of my brother.

Cultural evening

So the cultural evening (for which I was making vetkoek) was a couple of weeks ago now, and it was a big success!

The picture of the right is of our beautiful MC, Romona (left), and two of our pastors, Lester (centre) and Tendai (right). More pictures available here.

And the food came together nicely, I think. Thanks to my amazingly patient and super helpful digsmates! Sandra ended up making the vetkoek. We all had some part to play in the tomatoe relish stuff. Minoshni made ALL of the bean curry (!!) and the lassie. And Amanda and Mutsa and Tsungayi all helped out chopping the slightly dodgy mielies. And my brother gave up an evening of what should have been work to braai the mielies and wors!
Thanks you guys :)

Vetkoek

I am busy trying to make vetkoek for the Cultural Evening at church on Sunday. Well, tonight is the test run. good thing I did a test run because nothing is working. The stupid vetkoek burns on the outside and is still soggy on the inside. Yuck. And my tea tastes funny. And I feel sick from eating so much test half-cooked vetkoek. Yuck. Bleh. And my tea tastes really funny. Why does is taste funny? Maybe its because I used full cream milk instead of low fat. Either way, the fact remains that it tastes funny. And now I need to start (yes, start) making tomatoe relish stuff for said cultural evening. At least I know how to make tomatoe relishy stuff. But the kitchen is a huge mess now. Should I just push everything into the corner and make tomatoe stuff or should I wash first? Well, in order to get to the sink I would have to wade through the supper dishes which would be a mission, so perhaps I will just push to the side for now.